Don't you ever wish you could just start dancing and angles would come and dance with you?
I do.
It's happened before but it was so long ago that I hardly remember the amazing feeling that I had. All I want is to be free from these chains that hold me back. They hold me back from the amazing things that God wants to give me. And you know what?
It's all my fault.
I let that relationship I had with God go down the drains and now I'm lost and confused. I just want that passion back. There was a time where I had absolutly no desire to watch TV because I wanted to spend with my Lord and Savior, now watching TV is about the only thing I can do.
Over the summer, when I was in Kansas City, my friend Lillian was praying for me and she said this:
"Katie, I had a picture of you, and you were kneeling @ an alter in a church. You were holding this huge bowl and you were crying into it. It was half full, which is a lot of tears since it was such a big bowl. Then I saw God, and He was holding a bowl just like yours. He was crying into it too, but His wasoverflowing with tears."
It takes all of me to remember that God is always there with me, crying with me, even when I can't feel him. As my best friend said, "God is always holding your hand. When you can't feel it, it's because He's holding your hand so tight, it's gone numb"
I keep hearing those lady's words as she said to me, "You will dance like that little girl again. Your spirit will dance before God once more. But first, He is going to heal you."
I want to dance! I want to be free in God once more! I know it can happen; I know it's true because I've experienced it before. But these chains are holding me back. These chains of guilt, gossip, and hatred of self. Hatred of who I am physically and spiritually. Hatred of what I have become.
I want to dance with the angels in His presence once again.
I will dance with the angels in His presence once again.
