The Best Big Brother

Do you have a sibling? Even if you don't I want to ask you to try your best to apply this analogy. Maybe think of a close cousin, or friend that seems apart of your family.

What if, you did something really bad. Like, let's say, cheated on your significant other...and your dad found out. What would you do if your father told your brother (or sister) that he was going to put them to death because of what you did. What would your reaction be? I would hope that out of love, your reaction would be "What?! NO! That is outrageous!" You would beg a plead with your dad to retract his judgement. I know that I thought of my little brother and my heart broke at the thought of this happening. But what would you do, if this sibiling agreed? What if this brother or sister of yours said, "Ok. I will die, so that you can be with Dad for the rest of your life." What would you do? Would you try and stop him? Talk him out of it? Offer yourself instead?

Guess what?
This scenerio is exactly what Jesus did for you.

I always heard Jesus being referred to as our "brother" and even read scriptures (Song of Solomon 4:9&10, Hebrews 2, Matthew 12) about it. But for some reason it never clicked why He was our brother...but it TOTALLY makes sense! I'm almost kicking myself because of how simple it is! :D We have the same Father!  Duh.

That dawned on me today at about the same time that I realized exactly how important it is to understand Him as my brother.

The Old Testament was God releasing judgement on His people because of their sin (only because of His jealous love, but that is a whole nother subject!). The New Testament was God releasing judgement on Himself  because of our sin.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..."(John 3:16)
I've known this verse since I was 5 years old (thank you, Awana clubs!)...but it took on a whole new meaning today.

God, my Father, preferred my redemption over the life of His Son, Jesus Christ 

I could end right here and let you pick up all your brain pieces that went everywhere after that revelation bomb...but I won't :)

Jesus took upon Himself all the sins, iniquities, the pains, the imfirmities, the transgressions and all the separation and condemnation of all mankind. Jesus became our sin for us.

Notice that while on the cross, Jesus doesn't even call Him "Father"...
"My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46)
Before God on the cross, Jesus was a criminal who experienced the wrath of God...He was no longer a Son, but a sacrifice.
If the crucifixtion happened today, would we have that cry of "No! That is outrageous!!" in our mouths?

"But the Lord was pleased to crush Him, putting Him to grief..." (Isaiah 53:10)
I always got confused by this verse, but now it makes sense. God is so holy, that sin cannot be with Him. That is why Jesus was not a Son for those few hours...He had become sin! And that is why we need the blood of Christ....

The issue of abortion is the issue of innocent blood. In the scriptures it shows us that innocent blood cries out from the ground (Genesis 4:10) But Jesus' blood is the ultimate innocent blood that cries out to us "Forgiven! Forgiven!"
I feel like people, even believers, take this blood for granted. We say or think "Oh it's ok if I do this or that, Jesus forgives me" NO! We have NO IDEA how precious this blood is! I know I had to repent for taking the message of grace and forgivness for granted.

I'll leave you with one last thought

"Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundations of the world." (John 17:24)
You guys, He chose to do it.

He bled. But every drop needed His permission. Each blow needed His consent.

"Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus"

A couple days ago, a YouTube video called "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus" was really popular on Facebook; these are my thoughts on it.

The video? Awesome.
The message? Right on.
The application? Has been missed.

"What if I told you Jesus came to abolish religion?"

What this guy said about religion, false religion, or hypocrisy, whatever you want to call it, has been on my heart for the last year and a half. I'm glad he found a creative, understandable way to get the point across. I fully agree with what he said. I mean, the pharisee's were the religious people of the day, but they were the ones that had Jesus killed. He came to love, not rule. But I think that many people, myself included, just watched the video, "ooohed and aaahed" a little, said "Amen, that's so right!" but then we re-posted, and forgot about it.

"Religion is like spraying perfume on a casket"

Yep. I think this has to be my favorite line he used. But you know what? Just because we liked this video, and agreed with what he said, doesn't mean we have risen above this idea of dead religion. We can nod our heads and Amen! all we want, but until we actually live out what we say we believe, that phrase is true for us as well. Our words are the perfume to our dull spirits that don't see who Jesus really is. We can share this video all we want, but it's just like he said "They would dress up the mummies who were rotting underneath".

"There's a problem when people only know you're a Christian by your Facebook"

^ That should speak for itself. I'm going to ask you a question, not to judge, but to make you think. Did you watch the video, "like" and re-post but then go back to living life as normal? Never giving Jesus a second thought or word throughout the day?

"Acting like a church kid, while addicted to pornography"

No, I'm not perfect. I never have, and I never will claim to be. But honestly, I'm sick of hypocrisy. I have so many people dear to my heart that hate the thought of God, because of hypocrisy. Hypocrisy, put simply, is re-posting that video, saying Yes and Amen! and then going back to live a life that does not represent Jesus.
Yeah, I make mistakes, but my whole goal in life is to show Jesus in such away that people would desire to run to Him, not away from Him. And when you do this in your secret life, like not watching pornography even when nobody else knows it's happening, people will see the difference in you.

"I want that man"

If we were to truly understand what this video was about, we would understand that following Christ is about a relationship. A literal fellowship with the Creator of the universe. If we want people to know that Jesus and religion are on opposite teams, we need to take the step to join His team. He died, because He wanted you with Him, not because He had to or because "it is written". But because He loves you, it's as simple as that. Jesus is the kindest, most gentle, most joyful, funniest, bravest, sweetest person I know, and my heart's desire is for everyone to get that too. But you won't understand that by hearing someone else talk about it. Get off Facebook, and go spend some time with Him (I hope you know that I'm talking to myself too!). You know your best friend because you listen and talk with them. Let Him show you who He is...it's not something you can do all by yourself. It's a two way street, not a one way road. Christianity might not have been meant to be your typical religion, but it was meant for way much more than a yes and amen! It's a lifestyle, a heart posture, a kind of love this world cannot fathom.

So what I'm saying is, posting, re-posting, sharing...whatever. If we don't live it out, we are just as dead as this religion that we are fighting.

"When He said it is finished, I believe He meant it"

God Is...

“God is…” So many different people have so many different ways of finishing that sentence. Who is God? Do we really know? We can defiantly scratch the surface; that is what my life has become about. But the thing is, God is infinite. We will never be able to fully comprehend the fullness of any one attribute of God. But that’s the mystery, and adventure of it all! We never know what He is going to reveal to us.
A lot of people, myself included, have wrong views of God, whether we know it or not. For example, for most of my life, I always thought, subconsciously, that God was angry with me. But He’s not. He delights in me, even in my weaknesses. From what I’ve seen, many people view God as a distant, angry, judgmental person who regrets creating humans. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
Last year, I went on a mission to read the whole Bible; just 'cause. When I started, I took my blue pen, and began to underline an attribute of God each time I saw it. Let’s take a look at who the Bible says God is… 

God is everlasting. God is I AM. God is a jealous God. God is compassionate. God is gracious. God is slow to anger. God is abounding in loving-kindness and truth. God is with us. God is a consuming fire. God is in heaven. God is our God. God is in the midst of us. God is great. God is awesome. God is the God of gods. God is our praise. God is with you wherever you go. God is with you. God is peace. God is our judge. God is our rock. God is sovereign. God is our fortress. God is our deliverer. God is our refuge. God is our shield. God is my salvation. God is our stronghold. God is worthy to be praised. God is the God of Israel. God is enthroned above the cherubim. God is alone God over all the kingdoms of the earth. God is good. God is just. God is glorious. God is mighty. God is wise. God is powerful. God is more glorious than the moon. God shines brighter than the stars. God is mighty in power and understanding. God is all-powerful. God is greater than we can understand. God is clothed in dazzling splendor. God is righteous. God is the One who lifts our head. God is a righteous judge. God is a stronghold for the oppressed. God is King forever and ever. God is with the righteous generation. God is the portion of our inheritance. God is at our right hand, we cannot be shaken. God is our strength. God is holy. God is our shepherd. God is upright. God is a friend. God is our light. God is the defense of our life. God is a saving defense. God is near to the broken hearted. God is a very present help in trouble. God is a great King over all the earth.  God is highly exalted. God is the mighty One. God is the sustainer of our souls. God is for me. God is the trust of all the ends of the earth and of the farthest sea. God is a father to the fatherless. God is a defender for the widows. God is our hope. God is our confidence. God is the strength of our hearts. God is our portion forever. God is the God who works wonders. God is our redeemer. God is the living God. God is a sun and a shield. God is great in Zion. God has compassion on His children. God is mindful of us. God is clothed with splendor and majesty. God is good forever. God is high above all the nations. God is merciful. God is good to all. God is near to those who call upon him. God is my song. God is a refuge from the storm. God is shade from the heat. God is a God of justice. God is our lawgiver. God is creator of the ends of the earth. God is our peace. God is love.   

You may be saying "Actions speak louder than words Katie! Did you skip over the Old Testament? Did you forget about the book of Revelation?!" Oh of course I didn't! The book of Revelation happens to be my favorite book, other than the Song of Solomon. But do you actually know what the book of Revelation is? It's the revelation of Jesus Christ, who He is as the Son of God. That's the primary purpose of the book, not to scare us about the future.
God is love. He loves us. He is a jealous God, so He will do anything to bring us back to Him EXCEPT violate our free will. He doesn't want robots, He wants a person to love Him freely. "Jealousy is a husband's fury" - Proverbs 6:34
Ladies, let's say you are married. If someone were to attack you, you'd better believe your husband would fight back, wouldn't he? (If not, you have a bigger problem on your hands). But lets say, that for some reason, you left him for someone else. Would he fight for you to come back? Try and win your heart again? I would hope so. But if he cared about you enough, he would want you to be happy, right? He would try his hardest, but he would never force you to come back to him against your own will. That's what I'm trying to say about God. He is forever chasing us, but never catching us, unless we let Him. I call the judgments in the book of Revelation "speed bumps to hell". All God is doing is removing all that hinders love, so that He may dwell with those who have chosen to fully follow after Him. Everyone else has decided they would rather live apart from Him, and so He gives them what they want. And honestly, what you see in that book is the LEAST He could do. He is holding Himself back, He really is.

As for the Old Testament, it is very similar. I don't know about you, but I would hate to be defined by my actions. I'm not a mean person, but if I had children, I might discipline them in ways that might seem mean to them, or even to the people around me. But if I knew that the choices they were making were not good choices, and I let them go unpunished, I would not be a very good, responsible mom, now would I? I would punish them in hopes that they would learn from their mistakes, and make better choices the next time. God is not His actions. He is not mean, unloving, judgemental, or distant. He is a kind, loving, understanding, near Father who accepts us in our weakness. If we write someone off, just because we didn't like how they dealt with their child, or the way they handled a situation, we could miss out on getting to know someone really great.
I want to get to know God. To me, He seems like a really great guy. 

The Global Cry for Justice: God's Lack of Provision...or the Greed of Mankind?

My first day at IHOPU = Success. Enlightening, inspiring, but also sobering. I'm going to list some statistics and I don't want you to just browse over or skip them, I want you to read them and really have them sink in. 

Hunger

~ 1.02 Billion people do not have enough to eat - that's more than USA, Canada and Europe combined. 

~ 925 Million in developing countries alone are hungry.

For $35 million a day, we could feed every hungry person

Everyday:

$225 billion is spent to feed into obisity in America.

$105 million worth of food is thrown out.

$98 million is spent on weight loss products.

$42 million is spent on pet food.

For $35 million a day, we could feed every hungry person

Only $5 million a day is spent on aid for the hungry. 

War

World military expenditure in 2007 is estimated to have reached $1.3 Trillion in current dollars...the USA contributed to half of that amount. 

For $35 million a day, we could feed every hungry person

Death

Worldwide abortion statistics 1920-2008:

~ 961 million total abortions...by now, in 2011, at over 3 million abortions per month globally, that's close to 1 billion abortions in the last 91 years.

~ 1 in 5 pregnancies end in abortion.

Right now the most dangerous place is not the battlefield, but in your own mother's womb. 

Changing the laws will not end abortion...almost half  are done illegally. The issue isn't the laws, it's the heart of mankind...which is why prayer is crucial  in this day and age.  

Slavery/Sex Industry (Human Trafficking)

~ 27 million slaves worldwide...slavery is also illegal worldwide....laws are not the issue here, it's the heart of mankind

~ Child trafficking is the fastest growing crime in the world

~ Every minute 2 children are forced into prostitution.

~ $90 is the average cost of a slave...

Think of how much dinner and a movie would cost you and some of your friends...

~ Human trafficking is a $7 billion per year industry

~ Pornography is a $57 billion per year industry

For $35 million a day, we could feed every hungry person

People ask "If God is a god of Love, then why is He not providing to those in the 3rd world countries?"

That's not the question we should be asking. The question we should be asking is, "Is this issue in our world because of lack of provision, or because of mankind's greed?" 

In Luke 18, Jesus talks about the widow who kept going to an unjust judge, asking for justice in a certain area in her life. This wicked judge refused until he could no longer stand her constently begging him, and making him look bad. So if an unjust, wicked judge will do good for the oppressed, how much more will a Just, loving God do for His people? Especially His people who cry out for justice to be done on the earth. 

And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice, and quickly. (Luke 18:7-8) 

The Sound of Silence

Abortion.

Why? 

Some people know this, some people don't. I was just days away from not being born...alive. My biological grandfather had scheduled for his daughter, my birth-mother Alisha, to have an abortion. Alisha had no desire to go through with it, but she was only 16. Finally, he gave Alisha the choice. Abortion, or adoption. She was estatic that she didn't have to kill me. She knew I deserved a good family, but even more, that I had the right to life. So, as you can probably guess by now, I was born...alive, and adopted into the Kotila family. 

Obama quoted this, "I am going to teach them (his daughters) first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby."

Punishment?! This infuriates me. An baby, born or unborn, is the ultimate blessing, no matter the circumstances of conception. I am no punishment. And the same goes for every other unborn baby in the past, present and future. I am a person. I am a strong, unique, special, beautiful young woman. I have desires, feelings, hopes, dreams, likes, dislikes, hobbies, talents, unique physical features...just like every other human being. But I didn't recieve all these things after birth. It's who I am. It's who I was created to be. All these things were ingrained in me at conception. Like the well known Dr. Suess story Horton Hears a Who quotes, "A person's a person, no matter how small".

DNA. DNA is an amazing thing. But it is only ever created once. Our country has killed off over 50 million unique DNA codes, that will never again be duplicated. That child that was murdered, will never again have the chance to live. Every child deserves the same chance at life that I was given. This is a poem I wrote about 2 years ago, showing my heart for this issue:

Dear Birth-mother,

Thank you for giving me life,

I am ever so grateful.

You’ve never had a chance to be a wife

But you let me be your daughter.

When I think about every baby

Who has been murdered today,

It makes me very angry,

That abortion is legal in the USA.

Then I remember your choice,

Long before I was born,

To give me a life and to give me a voice.

I will not take these gifts for granted.

We have never met, 

Because we are so far apart.

But you are really great I bet.

You have to be, for letting me live.

Why do people choose abortion?

They were a fetus once too.

There is always the choice of adoption.

Why choose death, when you can give life?

Oh if only every baby had a chance like me.

To have friends and a family,

To have fun and be carefree.

Then America truly would be the best country.

Someday I hope to be, 

a wife, a mother, a friend.

I want to adopt a baby,

who was given the same gift that you gave me.

So once again I thank you,

For giving me hope, a future

And dreams I long to pursue.

I promise I will not let you down.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

Always, 

Your Daughter

Because of my history, my past, I have been given a story and a voice. My voice is for the unborn, for the ones who have been silenced. The other day, my friend Arielle and I were talking and she brought up the idea of me writting to the Senator of Nebraska on the issue of abortion. I kept thinking about it and I was really doubtful, not really knowing how to do it, or what to say etc. So I asked God to confirm it again if it was something He wanted me to do. Today I was on my mom's laptop and an e-mail notification popped up on the screen. The subject of this e-mail?

"Tell your Senator to stand for LIFE". 

What?! Ok God....

I will not silence myself on this issue when I have been so blessed to recieve my voice. I will not put myself into compromise by voting for those who are pro-choice. I will not shield my eyes from this bloodshed in my country. I will not allow myself to fall asleep to the sound of silence. 

I Became Me

I took a road down memory lane tonight, reading through my blog, and I came across something I wrote not too long ago. On May 26th 2010 I wrote a post called Becoming Me.
It almost brought tears to my eyes because I've seen how much I really have changed, matured. I talked about how I was moving away, no longer fully dependent on my parents. I have one month left in Fire in the Night and all I have been able to think about lately is how excited I am to go home. Why? I'm not exactly sure. I do have a fear of going home, not having faith in myself that I can keep up this walk with Jesus that I have found so intimately here. But I am excited to go home because I am worn out. I am completely and utterly worn out. I'm tired of taking care of myself, of living with 4 other girls, of doing things on my own. I am ready to go home and relax. Be in my own bed, see my friends, have fun and not have a care in the world.
But here, I really truly did become me. I walked into the next phase of God's life for me and I am overwhelmed at all He has done for me these last 5 months. I feel a lot more mature than I did before. But what makes me laugh is that I say that about every 6 months. But that's what life is. Maturing, growing, learning, laughing, crying, sighing, running, falling...becoming you.

You Are Worth Everything

What is value? Worth?

According to the dictionary, the word value means "a fair return or equivalent in goods, services, or money for something exchanged."

One thing that has been highlighted to me while being home, is how women today see themselves as so low in value, or worthless. You see it everywhere. Magazines, movies, conversations.....

Why is this?

Us women have such a desire to love, be loved (as do men...but that is a totally different subject), be beautiful, feel accepted etc etc.

But we are so hard on ourselves. We need the "sexy body". We need the latest style clothes. We need the boyfriend. But why?

Why do we rate our self-worth in what the world says? 

Our worth shouldn't be baised on what people say about us.

Beauty. What is beauty? The media tells us beauty is a size 2 with the latest Gucci purse and Dolce and Gabona shoes.

But God is beauty. If you study what the scriptures say about His beauty and the beauty of His throne room in Heaven, I promise you, you will be blown away.

God made us in His image, so how dare we say that we are anything less than beautiful.

But I know what that's like. I used to be a captive to self-hatred. I would look at myself in the mirror everyday and utterly despise what I saw. But not anymore. I might not be the "beautiful" everyone else strives to be, but I am radiating with true beauty, both inside and out, because that is how God sees me.

Beauty isn't a size, a number on a scale...beauty is you. Because that is who God created you to be.

Song of Solomon 4:7

You are altogether lovely, my darling. There is no blemish on you.

"If you got it, flaunt it"

I hate that.

Have you ever noticed that you never see commercials on TV for the expensive cars, like BMWs, Corvetts, Mustangs, etc.? You see commercials for the cheap cars.

I am an expensive BMW, worth being sought out by a man. I am not a cheap car, ready to advertise myself to the world.

I am worth so much more than throwing myself at men. I am a jewel, worth being worked hard for. And I'm not saying this in a "I'm better than you" sort of way.

I'm saying this because God said I was worth the blood of His Son, Christ; and the Bible says a husband should love his wife as Christ loves the church.

Today girls give themselves to such low standards. They settle into compromise. I know, I did it for a year and a half. It tore me apart. I thought I was feeling better about myself, but really it was just feeding my self-hatred.

Why do we value ourselves so low? Because we don't think we are worth anything. Why is that? I honestly don't know. I don't have words to describe how valuable we are to God. And the fact that people don't see that...it breaks my heart, it really does.

I don't agree with the dictonary's description of value. We don't need to give God anything in return for His value. He sees us as worth it, just because He loves us. I know I am valuable because the Creator created me with His own two hands. That, to me, speaks in volumes.

Our worth, should come from how God sees us.

Guess what?

He says we are worth everything.