I Finally Understand

I've been super selfish the last few months. I've been so focused on the fact that I'm heartbroken and homesick that I've kind of forgotten the real reason I'm here. Yeah. I'm gonna be heartbroken and homesick. That's just part of the package. Of course I'm going to miss all my friends and family. Of course there will be tears. None of that is bad or wrong. It's ok to be sad. Its ok to remember those wonderful memories in Minnesota. But it's not ok to make it all about myself.

I was at my friend's youth group on Wednesday night and the speaker was talking about all the things teenagers are into these days. Drugs, sex etc. God really spoke to me during that time. "I gave you that passion to see teenagers come to Me for a reason. I brought you to Nebraska for a reason. You are going to Papillion South High School for a reason. Now put those things together..." I was like, "Oh snap!" What have I been missing? I knew that God had a plan for me here but I was so focused on my own pain I refused to accept it. 

God has given me this amazing passion for kids my age. I would like nothing better than to see a revival go through out my school. Just to see the Holy Spirit's fire in that school would be amazing! I love the song we sang at youth group that night. Not only because it really speaks out what I feel but also just because it, for some reason, always makes me think of my beloved youth group CGYC back home! :D 
It's the song Marvelous Light. Right now this is my prayer:

Your love it beckons deeply,
a call to come and die.
By grace now I will come
And take this life, take Your life.

Oh you know that battle I was having earlier...the one about me just giving up? Yeah. Jesus won that battle for me......about 2,000 years ago. Here's some more from Marvelous Light:

Sin has lost it's power,
death has lost it's sting.
From the grave You've risen
VICTORIOUSLY!

Goodness!! I'm so excited for what God has for me here at my high school it's not even funny! That doesn't mean I'm not in pain, because I am, but at least now I kind of have a glimpse of why God sent me here. 

Into marvelous light I'm running,
Out of darkness, out of shame.
By the cross You are the truth,
You are the life, You are the way