Becoming Me

When I was about 6 or 7, one my neighbors in my cul-de-sac in Plymouth MN had a garage sale. I went over with my mom like we always did when there was a local garage sale.When we were there, I found some sort of lego type thing (I don't remember exactly what type of toy it was) where you made your own shopping mall. Let's just say it was love at first sight. After begging mom to buy it for the small price of 5 bucks, I proudly brought it home. I remember seeing the stickers on the wall of the mini mall. There was an electronics store, a food court, and various hair and clothing stores. On one of the stickers was a cartoon picture of a lady with flowing blonde curly hair; kind of resembling the image of a Barbie. And because I had wavy, blondish hair, I remember thinking, "That's probably what I'm going look like when I'm all grown up." 

I looked at myself today in the mirror and that far away memory flooded my mind. I look nothing like that measly little cartoon woman on a sticker and I realized that who I am today, is who I have become. To this day, I still imagine what I'm going to act like, or look like in the future. But I have to remember that I'm not changing anymore; at least in the physical sense. I have become who I am.

Up to 3 years ago...even 2 years ago I remember thinking, "Wow. Alisha was a junior in high school when she was pregnant with me. That's old." And I kept thinking that until the year I was a junior and it struck me. Wait, this is how old she was, and I am that age. Weird. I am now graduated. What?! 

I'm old. I'm grown up. I'll be 18 in two months. I move away this fall. No longer fully depending on my parents. It's just so weird because this day always seemed so far off, but now it's here and I can't seem to grasp that thought. 

Of course I will learn new things, I will probably develop opinions I never had, or improve my opinions I have now. But I have become who I am. I know what I believe, I have my morals and I have me. Who God created me to be. 



I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
A great warm welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know ev'ry mile
Will be worth my while
When I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though the road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It may take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete

Like a shooting star
I can go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
TillI find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...