All the Stars in the Sky

This weekend, I went with my youth group to the Love, Sex and Dating retreat. God showed me a few things while I was there; only one of which actually having to do with love, sex or dating. :)

1. Have you ever heard of a Nazarite vow? Well, I went and looked up a good definition and it's basically a vow made by someone who wishes to "separate themselves unto the Lord" (Numbers 6:2). In the Bible, it talks about a specific vow that a Nazarite makes (Numbers 6:4-6), but I believe that it can be anything you feel God calling you to. For example, my Nazarite vow was telling God that I wasn't going to date until I graduate high school. But it's different for everyone. :) Now, after making this promise, I would just casually tell people that I don't want to date until after high school. They'd ask why and I'd casually tell them that it just wasn't for me. But this weekend, I realized that this promise, was everything but casual. In God's eyes this promise that I made to Him is beautiful, amazing, ravishing, and best of all, sacred. Wow. Sacred. How awesome is that?! Now I feel like I truely belong to something, but not in a bad way like a slave or a prisoner. I don't feel weighed down by this at all. I feel so much light-hearted! Now I know that once I graduate, I am going to enjoy whatever God has for me so much more because I waited. Of course, I'm not sure why God wants me to wait, but I'm sure I'll understand later. 

Now, either God has a great sense of humor, or Satan is more mean than I thought. See, when I made this vow, I didn't think it'd be that hard, 'cause I'd never been asked out, and no guy had ever shown any interest in me. Ha! 4 months after I made the promise, all of that changed. For six months I really struggled with keeping the promise and even the beginning of this school year I had thoughts of going back on my word, but God is faithful and He will help keep us strong!!! <3 

2. The whole time we were at this camp, it was kinda chilly and cloudy. While we were having worship this morning, I was felling sorry about not being where I should be in my relationship with Him. I've felt so guilty because of that for a long time now. But God said, "Katie, look where you are now compared to where you were in 8th grade." So I thought back to 8th grade and I was like, ew. I was pretty messed up. God agreed. Haha. But anyway, I kinda argued with Him saying that I didn't deserve this because I didn't do that...etc etc, but God just said, I love you and you love Me. That's all that matters and we can work on that other stuff. 
As I gave up all that guilt and shame that I've been carrying for the longest time now, the clouds parted and the sun started to shine again. I couldn't help but smile because the weather was reflecting exactly what I felt in my heart. It was awesome! 

3. Last night, we played capture the flag. It was fun, for the part where I wasn't in jail. Haha. But when I was in jail, I looked up to the sky and I realized that I had seen stars before, but just not so many all at once! It was gorgeous! As I studied each one of those stars individually, I realized that they flickered and turned from white, to red, to blue (and no, they weren't airplanes 'cause they weren't moving and all of them were doing it!). I imagined those stars millions of miles away in the galaxy and was totally overwhelmed by the awesomeness of God. And I realized something. The little things that God reveals to us about Himself and His love and mercy, are like little stars. It's like all the stars in the sky are little parts of God's heart or something that He has put out there for us to see. Kinda understand what I'm saying? But yeah. I guess I'm kinda glad I was in jail...for 40 minutes...in the freezing cold....
:D

The only thing I regret about this weekend is not bringing tennis shoes like I was supposed to and having to wear Mark's big socks over my flip-flops the entire time.

Sorry Mark.

;( 

What God Already Knows

R. W. Emerson once said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 

Ok, so that's my attempt at sounding smart for the day. Haha anyway, I was in English today and my teacher has that quote up on the wall. The moment I read it, it dawned on me. In a way, God is saying that to us too. 

When we spend time to talk to God, He doesn't always want us to just repeat back what He has already told us in the Bible, He wants us to talk to Him about whats going on in our hearts. I mean, talking to Him about what He says in the Bible isn't bad. I'm just saying, that shouldn't be the majority of what our conversations with Him should be about. Do you kind get what I'm saying? 

Basically, God doesn't want us to "quote" the Bible to Him. He wants to hear about us. About what is going on in our lives. Not that He doesn't already know...lol, but that is what creates a two-way relationship. 

It brings me back to the story that I know I've probably written about once before. The first time I went to the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, I was just having some time with God and this was basically the conversation: 

Me: God, please just tell me something! I want to hear Your voice. 
God: I love you. 
Me: *smiles* Yes God I know! But tell me something I don't know! 
God: I love you. 
Me: I know God! But can You tell me something important?! 
God: You know I love you, but you don't know I love you. 
Me: ......oh........ 

Basically God was saying that I knew in my head that God loves me, but I didn't know it in my heart. See, I was just going off of what I had learned and read my entire life. "Jesus died for you." "God loves you." I was "quoting" the Bible. But we can't just "quote" the Bible, we need to believe it with our hearts. 

I don't want to just quote things back to God anymore. 

I actually want to talk with Him.

Judging VS. Imagination

Lately, I've been really thinking about how difficult it is to keep from judging people. Which is ironic since one of my biggest pet peeves is when people openly judge people without even knowing them very well, or even without meeting them.

See, a lot of times, I hear someone say something, or see them do something and I'll kind of start wondering why they said or did that, and think up different things that could be going on in their life because of that. 

Does that even make sense?

I guess what I'm asking is, am I judging that person? Or am I just too imaginative and let my mind get carried away? Once after thinking about a guy in my math class to much, I went from the possibility of him being an atheist, to gay, to vampire (not seriously of course lol), to a musician. I came to the conclusion that he was a gay atheist vampire who was a musician. Lol. Just kidding. 

Seriously though. I don't want to be a judging person. Because it's not my job to judge. That is God's job. And I say that quite often. So feeling like this, also makes me feel like a hypocrite because I'm saying one thing, but then doing another. 

Hypocrisy is another one of my big pet peeves. 

Hmmm. New thought. Maybe all my pet peeves are something that I need to work on myself.

Matthew 7:3-5
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. 

Reminds me of the time I was in dance class about 5 years ago. We were working on our recital dance. I went up to the teacher, Miss Debbie, and told her that I thought that my partner Mary needed to work on a certain move. Miss Debbie just looked at me, smiled, and quoted Matt. 7:3. I was kinda confused. She turned to the class and said we needed to do that part over again so that we could work on that move. "Especially Mary and Katie" She said. I'll always remember that.

I really hope I'm not a judgmental hypocrite. :(

I'll be praying about this one. 

Christianity VS. Churchianity

So, lately, I've been realizing that a lot of people don't have anything against Christians themselves, but they are against the actual concept of religion. The whole idea of religion, kinda bothers me too...and a lot of other Christians I know. One director I worked with a while back said it well when he said, "Religion is mixing the things of God, with the things of man." It's so true. But us, as humans, are imperfect. So religion, is mixing our imperfections with God's perfection! 

I grew up in a "religious" home. Both of my parents are strong Christians and I was homeschooled. I was drenched with religion 24/7. And I gotta tell ya, I got tired of it fast. So I understand where people are coming from when they say they are sick of religion! So am I! 

But you see, being a Christian isn't about a religion. It's about a relationship with Jesus Christ. When I realized that, suddenly Christianity wasn't boring anymore. It was a journey. A journey of digging deeper into who Jesus Christ is. His love for us. His will for us. A journey of becoming more like Him. An extremely exciting journey. 

I heard it put this way once. I love it. The religious leaders of Jesus' time were the Phariesees. They were the leaders of the church. Did you know, that they hated Jesus? Did you know, they are the ones who wanted Him dead? They hated Him because He was preaching something different than what they preached. They preached from the Old Testiment. Rules, and regulations. Jesus taught and showed love. 

That is the difference between Christianity and Churchianity...or religion, whatever you want to call it!Christianity is the act of going on an amazing journey, forming a relationship with our Savior Christ.Churchianity is following the church, and its rules. 

Which one would you rather follow??