All the Stars in the Sky

This weekend, I went with my youth group to the Love, Sex and Dating retreat. God showed me a few things while I was there; only one of which actually having to do with love, sex or dating. :)

1. Have you ever heard of a Nazarite vow? Well, I went and looked up a good definition and it's basically a vow made by someone who wishes to "separate themselves unto the Lord" (Numbers 6:2). In the Bible, it talks about a specific vow that a Nazarite makes (Numbers 6:4-6), but I believe that it can be anything you feel God calling you to. For example, my Nazarite vow was telling God that I wasn't going to date until I graduate high school. But it's different for everyone. :) Now, after making this promise, I would just casually tell people that I don't want to date until after high school. They'd ask why and I'd casually tell them that it just wasn't for me. But this weekend, I realized that this promise, was everything but casual. In God's eyes this promise that I made to Him is beautiful, amazing, ravishing, and best of all, sacred. Wow. Sacred. How awesome is that?! Now I feel like I truely belong to something, but not in a bad way like a slave or a prisoner. I don't feel weighed down by this at all. I feel so much light-hearted! Now I know that once I graduate, I am going to enjoy whatever God has for me so much more because I waited. Of course, I'm not sure why God wants me to wait, but I'm sure I'll understand later. 

Now, either God has a great sense of humor, or Satan is more mean than I thought. See, when I made this vow, I didn't think it'd be that hard, 'cause I'd never been asked out, and no guy had ever shown any interest in me. Ha! 4 months after I made the promise, all of that changed. For six months I really struggled with keeping the promise and even the beginning of this school year I had thoughts of going back on my word, but God is faithful and He will help keep us strong!!! <3 

2. The whole time we were at this camp, it was kinda chilly and cloudy. While we were having worship this morning, I was felling sorry about not being where I should be in my relationship with Him. I've felt so guilty because of that for a long time now. But God said, "Katie, look where you are now compared to where you were in 8th grade." So I thought back to 8th grade and I was like, ew. I was pretty messed up. God agreed. Haha. But anyway, I kinda argued with Him saying that I didn't deserve this because I didn't do that...etc etc, but God just said, I love you and you love Me. That's all that matters and we can work on that other stuff. 
As I gave up all that guilt and shame that I've been carrying for the longest time now, the clouds parted and the sun started to shine again. I couldn't help but smile because the weather was reflecting exactly what I felt in my heart. It was awesome! 

3. Last night, we played capture the flag. It was fun, for the part where I wasn't in jail. Haha. But when I was in jail, I looked up to the sky and I realized that I had seen stars before, but just not so many all at once! It was gorgeous! As I studied each one of those stars individually, I realized that they flickered and turned from white, to red, to blue (and no, they weren't airplanes 'cause they weren't moving and all of them were doing it!). I imagined those stars millions of miles away in the galaxy and was totally overwhelmed by the awesomeness of God. And I realized something. The little things that God reveals to us about Himself and His love and mercy, are like little stars. It's like all the stars in the sky are little parts of God's heart or something that He has put out there for us to see. Kinda understand what I'm saying? But yeah. I guess I'm kinda glad I was in jail...for 40 minutes...in the freezing cold....
:D

The only thing I regret about this weekend is not bringing tennis shoes like I was supposed to and having to wear Mark's big socks over my flip-flops the entire time.

Sorry Mark.

;(